1.Everyone shall possess the right to freely express and publicise his thoughts in words, images or by any other means, as well as the right to inform others, inform himself and be informed without hindrance or discrimination 2.Exercise of the said rights shall not be hindered or limited by any type or form of censorship Constitution of the Portuguese Republic, Article 37.º

The Farce

By Creepin (aka "Velma")

It has been said by others that ‘we know nothing.’ I beg to differ.

We may not know the exact fate of Madeleine McCann, but the Policia Judiciaria compiled a dossier of evidence implicating the McCann’s in her disappearance which was submitted by the prosecutor to a judge. A root and branch review of the case by Paulo Rebelo has not changed the course of the investigation and Kate and Gerry are still the prime suspects. The PJ are not looking for a living child, but a corpse. Although many of the facts remain secret due to Portuguese legal procedure, there is plenty of circumstantial evidence which is in the public domain and most of it was revealed by the suspects themselves.

We know that these infants were left alone every night, a crime which the social services chose to overlook, despite the risk to the twins. In the immediate aftermath of their child’s disappearance, the parents did not join a search party, but went jogging/hairdressers/tennis, which is incomprehensible in the circumstances. Gerry had the presence of mind to write a daily blog on trivial matters. Alex Woolfall said initially they thought Madeleine had wandered off, but Kate and Gerry contradicted this by claiming they knew “straight away, she was taken” within a minuscule window of opportunity, by a predatory paedophile. “Cluck-whoosh!”

Kate admitted that after the twins were born Madeleine would “scream for attention” and she had a “sense of danger” but she was so “funny and engaging” that her mother believed she would give the creepy predator “her tuppence worth.” Kate washed all traces of her missing daughter from her favourite toy, Cuddle Cat. The child was heard crying “daddy” for hours by a neighbour. We know very little else about Madeleine, because her parents seldom mention her, preferring to discuss the antics of the twins.

We know Russell O’Brien was absent from the group for half an hour and according to waiters, Jane Tanner never left the Tapas Bar. Her description of the abductor she could not have seen has changed several times, resulting in innocent people being persecuted by the McCann’s henchman, a government spin doctor. The McCann’s compromised the local priest whom they later snubbed and the distressed Father Pacheco has since distanced himself from this ignoble couple.

They initiated a media circus and raised over a million pounds which has been squandered on a farce. Gerry was disappointed he could not use the fund to pay their legal fees. None of this money has been used to assist others with missing children. However, they paid their mortgage with these generous donations two months after Madeleine vanished. Two fund directors have resigned and been replaced by Jon Corner, Kate’s lifelong friend and Ed Smethurst. Brian Kennedy, is paying his fees and for Metodo 3’s fruitless search. They all have a ‘Common Purpose.’

Alleged sightings have not amounted to a hill of beans, but proposed book/film/TV deals amount to a substantial sum. Clarence Mitchell’s main role appears to be negotiating lucrative contracts to raise cash to find a child that the police are certain is dead. Two suspected child killers are now the hottest property on the chat-show circuit. Who says crime doesn’t pay?

Against police advice Gerry was willing to endanger his daughter’s safety by publicising her eye defect, because it was “a good marketing ploy.” Therefore, money making was always the priority over protecting his child. They enlisted instant support from Knights of the Empire and “called in favours.” Brown and Milliband have taken a personal interest in the case and the Home Secretary is impeding progress in the investigation by delaying crucial police interviews.

The most outlandish theories have been proposed by Team McCann and their agents. Madeleine is with drug dealers in the Rif Mountains, she was at a museum in Chile, she is a rich Saudi’s trophy, or she is with the Russian Mafia. When the focus returns to the Arguido’s, another absurd theory is suggested and confirmed by Brits who work in the health service or with close ties to the McCann’s. The suspects and witnesses held a clandestine meeting at a hotel room.

Gerry named his website after a book which deals with cold cases where the victim’s bodies remain undiscovered. This is already being described as a ‘cold case’ by the media, when the investigation is ongoing and far from complete. Statistically it is more likely Madeleine was killed by her parents than kidnapped, as Gerry confessed, this would be a hundred million to one chance, whereas the majority of untimely child deaths occur at the hands of a family member. We do not know what happened to Madeleine, but the Portuguese authorities are convinced she died at the Ocean Club and the cadaver dog’s reaction and DNA obtained from the scene are indicative of that.

There is nothing which is hidden that will not be revealed.





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